Is that like “civil war”?

Legitimate rape.

Thanks to Missouri Republican Senate candidate Todd Akin, a new oxymoron enters the public forum.

Here’s the quote in full, which came from an interview aired on St. Louis station KTVI-TV on Aug. 19, 2012: “First of all, from what I understand from doctors, [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Nicely done, Todd. If there was anything we needed, it was one more way to trivialize the way we discuss an issue that can destroy people’s lives.

Now who’s up for a pleasant round of civilized assault and battery?

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London 2012

In honor of the London Games, I am pleased to announce my offerings for the 2012 Official Couch Potato Olympics events: Synchronized Stamp Collecting, Deep-Cushion Remote Diving, Shopping Cart Luge and — my personal favorite — Triple Toe Loop Double Fudge Delite.