Ways to skin a cat

Today’s National Poetry Month challenge comes from Robert Lee Brewer in Writer’s Digest:  write an instructional poem.

Here’s my Poem-A-Day offering for Monday, April 8:

How to skin a cat

There’s more than one way, I’m told.
One could, for instance,
Marry a cat.
Divorce said cat.
Take cat to court for all it’s worth in alimony.
Not the marrying kind?
Try challenging the cat to a game of strip poker,
And cheat your brains out
By using a stacked deck.
My favorite method requires considerable athletic prowess,
A high bar, and enough nerve to hang upside down
All the while threading your feet through your arms.
But why, of all possible metaphors, this one?
Why would it even occur to anyone
That such a skill might come in handy,
Let alone in multiple variations?
Why not “skin a snake” or “skin a big old warthog”?
For that matter, why not
“Skin a really obnoxious person who thinks it’s appropriate
To enact cruel and unusual punishment on a small house pet
That mostly just wants to cuddle in your lap”?
And if one is really pressed for a metaphor–
One that doesn’t incite violence against harmless domestic creatures–
There is always, simply,
Plain old Plan B.

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Filed under Poetry, Uncategorized, writing

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